Something to chew on

Monday, November 08, 2010

Emotional Eating

For almost the last two weeks, I've been the walking and talking definition of "emotional eating." That's normally not me. I'm a clock eater: I eat at 9am, noon, 3pm and as close to 6pm as possible. But when Daddy was hospitalized and then put on life support, I had to force myself to eat just to fuel my body enough to travel to see him. When he passed away and we buried him, I again had to force myself to eat just to keep from being dehydrated from all the tears.

Since then, I've been eating everything in sight. I'm sad. And I'm a bit scared and worried, but I really don't know what I'm scared of. And although I know peanut butter cups don't really help with any of that, for some reason in some tiny way, they kinda do.

My dad was an incredible character. I have his eyes and dimples and broad shoulders. He taught me to catch a fish, shoot a gun, unclog a toilet and drive. He was proud of my education and my work, and he hung my photographs proudly throughout his home. He had an amazing laugh that I hope my memory will always allow me to hold on to.

It still feels very unreal to me that he's gone.

I hope I can pull a lesson or two out of all of this: Eat for fuel and health. Cry when I need to. Take more pictures. Laugh. Remember the good. Do something beautiful and full of life every day. Love.

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4 Comments:

  • oh Summer, I'm just so sorry. It's such a process, a long process, and I'm still going through it after my grandmother passed away this spring. (and I swear, there's just something about dads, I don't know, I'm not sure how I'd ever handle it if something happened to mine)... and I suppose this is all part of the coping process. But that last paragraph says it all... and maybe add in getting as many hugs as you can from anyone who'll give them. hang in there, dude.

    By Anonymous elizabetht, at November 08, 2010 7:29 PM  

  • Thank you, Elizabeth. You know, I had a bit about hugs in that last paragraph, but by that point I was a bit blinded by tears and just didn't like the way it was reading. So I just stopped writing right there...

    Hugs do help, and a kind word does too. Thank you again! :-)

    By Blogger Summer, at November 09, 2010 8:51 AM  

  • I am so sorry to hear about your father, Summer. It's so hard. Take time to grieve, take care of yourself, and forgive yourself for the slips. I'll be sending kind thoughts your way.

    ~Marianne

    By OpenID mariannika, at November 09, 2010 9:26 AM  

  • I'm so sorry Summer. He sounds like a wonderful person and an even better father.

    My heart is with you and if I could hug ya from here, I would. Lots.

    By OpenID diz2, at November 17, 2010 12:17 PM  

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