Friday: The Scale Cometh

I don't wanna weigh tomorrow. I've had a good week for the most part, but I still don't want to see the number on the scale. But I must. After completely skipping the scale last week, I need to put a number down in my little book.

Breakfast: chocolate bran muffin: 1 point
banana: 2 points

Lunch: veggie burger: 6 points
kettle chips: 4 points

Afternoon snack: laughing cow wedge: 1 point
rice cake: 1 point

Dinner: quesadilla: 6 points
chips and salsa: 3 points

TOTAL: 24 points. I've got to get a grip...

Thursday Food Journal

Nothing to see here this evening, just me trying to keep on counting...

Breakfast: granola bar: 3 points
banana: 2 points

tortilla: 2 points (somewhere mid-morning, just wanted to snack on something)

Lunch: chicken nuggets: 6 points
fruit cup: 1 point
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: banana: 2 points

Dinner: sushi: 4 points
crackers and cheese: 2 points
rice krispie treat: 2 points

TOTAL: 25 points. Not a great day, but better than this time last week.

Motivation

I listened to a podcast yesterday that talked about motivation. Not just motivation in general, but Renee broke it down into two kinds of motivation: "away from" and "towards."

I suppose it makes sense from just that much information, but "away from" motivation is our desire to get away from something. Away from a size 14, away from high blood pressure, away from binge eating. But once we do that, once we're away from the size 14 and into a size 8 for instance, what happens then??? That's when we need to look at our "towards" motivation to keep going. Maybe motivation changes: Working "away from" that size 14 now turns into working "towards" a size 6.

It's makes total sense and it's really got me thinking... More soon.

Breakfast: 1 cup MultiGrain Cheerios: 1 point
1/2 vanilla soy milk: 1 point
banana: 2 points

Lunch: grilled cheese sandwich: 6 points
chips and salsa: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: peanut butter and mini toast: 4 points

Dinner: steak fajita salad: 6 points

TOTAL: 23 points

Half a Sandwich

That seemed to be the theme yesterday.

Cole makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the world, and for lunch yesterday he made me a perfect half. I paired that with a bowl of soup.

Then for dinner last night, we took friend and coworker Barbara L. to the Hula Hut. Their food is not the best in town, but it's a fun little place, cool and casual atmosphere, overlooking the water. What's more relaxing that a margarita on the lake for a Monday evening?!?! Oh, and I only ate half of my grilled chicken sandwich there too. The conversation was lively and I just wanted to talk and listen rather than eat. And listening to my body, I got the message again that "half is plenty."

Today's numbers:

Breakfast: oatmeal: 2 points
banana: 2 points

Lunch: chicken-tomato pasta salad: 5 points
mini toast: 1 point
Whitman's WW candy: 1 point

Afternoon snack: Brussels sprouts: 0 points
(How boring for an afternoon snack... )

Dinner: grilled chicken: 5 points
roasted asparagus and tomatoes: 1 point (for the olive oil)
snack cakes: 1 point

TOTAL: 18 points. Some days it surprises me how easy it can be. Then some days it just kicks my butt.

Monday, Monday

I feel better. I honestly don't know what was going on last week that had me so frustrated and mad at points. Points are good. Points are helpful. I wasn't making the best choices, so the points were adding up fast.

But today I feel back in control. I feel like it's possible and doable again. I feel better. And I have figured something out.

This is not new to me, I've known this for quite a while: Afternoon is my trouble time. I can have a great breakfast and a good lunch, on track for a wonderful 20-point day, when the hours between 2 and 4 p.m. creep up. I could eat 20 points in that timespan alone. I don't smoke, but that may be the time of day that I need to schedule in a 10-minute "smoke break" to walk dogs or jog around the block. It's not boredom because I'm working. It's not hunger because I just had lunch. But that's the time when my mind thinks my body needs to eat. I need to figure it out and work on it.

Like right now, it's about 5 p.m. and if I didn't eat again for the rest of the day, I'd be just fine. I made it past 4 and I'm good to go. But I will eat again this evening. Cole and I are actually taking a coworker to dinner this evening. It's her first trip to Austin and you know we like to play tour guide!!!

Tomorrow I'm back on track. I'm journaling, I'm counting points, and I'm taking a smoke break. Well, you know what I mean...

Surely Someone Else Has Been There

I've not had the best grasp on eating healthy this week. Any grasp really. I wish I could pinpoint exactly why.

My mind just hasn't wanted to count points or grams of fat and fiber. My heart isn't into measuring each cup of cereal or ounce of cheese. I'm not motivated. Until I look at myself in the mirror. Then I just get mad and eat.

I'm tired of worrying about, of thinking about it. And I really hope this feeling will resolve itself soon so I can get on with it and finally get to the goal that keeps eluding me.

Am I the only one who has ever had this lull in loss and motivation??? How did you snap yourself out of it??? Would eating a whole chocolate pecan pie get it out of my system so that I can just start fresh Monday???

Wednesday Food Journal

Breakfast: blueberry/bran muffins: 3 points
yogurt: 2 points

Lunch: hamburger and fries. I pretty much blew the whole day because of it. And that's all I have to say about that.

Couch-to-5K, Week Seven Begins

I'm still sore from Sunday's run, but overall feeling good about the running we're doing. The running doesn't bother me as much as the anticipation sometimes. When I knew that Sunday's run was going to be 25 straight minutes, I almost panicked. I didn't know if I could do it. I worried that I couldn't. The five-minute brisk-walk warm up was torture, just waiting for his voice to say "ready?" The anticipation made me a nervous wreck. But when I hit that 10-minute mark and could still breathe, I knew I would be okay.

This week is three days of 25-minute runs. Knowing I've done it once already is a comfort and gives me hope that I can do it again, several more times. Throughout the day I've been staying hydrated and trying to make decent food choices. I don't want to eat anything that will weigh me down or fight me during the run. Been there already. Not fun.

Unfortunately, Cole is smack in the middle of an allergy attack of some sort since the front blew in over the weekend. I didn't think he would want to run at all this evening, but he did. And we got about 22 minutes of this week's first 25-minute run in. And now my thighs feel like grape jello.

Today's food:

Breakfast: scrambled egg: 2 points
toasted English muffin: 2 points

Mid-morning snack: Rice Krispie treat: 2 points
(I couldn't help myself.)

Lunch: chicken pasta salad: 5 points
garlic toast: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: 100-calorie Balance bar: 2 points

Dinner: 1 cup Multi-grain Cheerios: 1 point
1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point
banana: 2 points

TOTAL: 20 points

Chipotle Mashed Potatoes

From the January/February 2008 issue of Weight Watchers Magazine, Chipotle Mashed Potatoes:

1 lb. red potatoes, scrubbed and cut into two-inch chunks
1/2 cup low-fat buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon chopped canned chipotles in adobo
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Bring the potatoes and cold, salted water to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until potatoes are fork-tender, about 10 minutes. Drain well.

Combine buttermilk, chipotle, salt and pepper, stirring until blended. Set aside.

Return potatoes to saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly until all liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and slowly add the buttermilk mixture while mashing.

A 2/3 cup serving is just 1 point -- 98 calories, 1 grams of fat, 3 grams of fiber -- according to the recipe.

My day in points...

Breakfast: oatmeal: 2 points
banana: 2 points

Lunch: English muffin pizzas: 4 points
apple: 1 point
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: banana: 2 points

Dinner: chipotle mashed potatoes: 2 points
beef/spinach/feta spiral: 6 points
brownie bite: 1 point

TOTAL: 21 points.

Week Six Complete

Dear Jim-

We ran 25 minutes today without stopping. Well, truth be told, we had to stop for about 30 seconds. Not that we needed to for pain or for water, but we had to stop for a little kiddie train going through the park. We had no choice. I was so proud at the end of the run. It's the most I've ever run in my life so far...

If you're ever in Austin, I hope you'll join us for a quick and easy run on the Hike and Bike Trail.

Thanks for all your words of inspiration,
-Summer

Quick Update and a Plea for Coffee

Well, down 0.2 pounds this morning. A loss is a loss, right???

One of my treats for myself is a stop at Scooter's Coffeehouse on my way to weigh each Saturday morning. I'm greeted almost every Saturday morning by a bubbly and cute girl with strawberry blond hair who was born a little too late to be a true flower child. She's a gentle and sweet soul, and she always provides a great interaction (and vanilla latte) to start the day.

This morning as I ordered at the speaker, I noticed one of their large windows was busted out. From the location, I thought it was a car gone out of control from the parking lot. But when I got to the window and asked how her morning was going, she tearfully explained to me that they had been burglarized overnight. People suck. So, if you happen to be in the vicinity of Mopac and William Cannon in the next couple of weeks, go throw four bucks their way and enjoy some coffee. Locally owned and free wifi to boot!!! Plus, their drinks beat the little green logo off of the other guys.

Friday Food Journal

I haven't weighed on my home scale all week. I don't think I would have been impressed, so I just didn't bother. I will definitely go to my meeting in the morning (weather permitting), but I don't know if I wanna get on the scale there either. I'll weigh here in the morning before I go and let that number be my deciding factor.

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K: 1 point
1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point
whole wheat toast: 2 points

Lunch: quesadilla: 6 points
chips and salsa: 2 points

Afternoon snack: rice krispie treat: 2 points

Dinner: salad: 7 points
snack cakes: 1 point

TOTAL: 22 points

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Cole and I don't go crazy on Feb. 14. No sappy store-bought cards. No red roses. No silk boxers that say "love machine" around the waistband.

Instead, I like to think we celebrate our love year-round. (No gagging.) Whether he's surprising me with a new pair of shoes that he designed for me, or it's me cooking a special dinner when he's had a long day, we celebrate in our own special little ways.

Plus, we're getting our hearts in shape. We're smack in the middle of week six of our Couch-to-5K program (nine weeks total). And isn't our health the best gift we can give each other??? (Again, no gagging.)

Breakfast: 1 cup Special K: 1 point
1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point
banana: 2 points

Lunch: chicken nuggets: 6 points
fruit cup: 1 point
evil chocolate-dipped cookie: 4 points

Dinner: chicken/parmesan sausage: 4 points
mac-n-cheese: 4 points

TOTAL: 23 points. I don't think I'm gonna have a loss this week, but we'll see come Saturday.

Couch-to-5K, Week Six

I never thought I would enjoy running this much. Don't get me wrong, it kicks my butt. But starting week six now has me thinking I'm gonna do this long past the nine-week training program. Is it possible I could actually participate in a 5K each month??? Could I add a fourth day to my running each week??? I miss it on my days off.

Note to self: Do not fill up on peanut butter an hour before a run. Blech.

Breakfast: whole wheat toast: 2 points
1 cup Special K: 1 point
1/2 cup soy milk: 1 point

Lunch: bagel pizza: 4 points
fruit salad: 2 points

Afternoon snack: peanut butter and crackers: 5 points

Dinner: grilled chicken: 4 points
leftover potatoes: 4 points
fruit salad: 2 points

TOTAL: 25 points. Not great.

Fast Food Nation

Years ago, I watched Super Size Me and one of the extras on the DVD has kept me from eating McDonald's fries ever since. Well this evening, waiting for Cole to get home, I watched Fast Food Nation. I'm never eating a fast-food burger again.

Breakfast: oatmeal: 2 points
banana: 2 points

Lunch: tuna and crackers: 5 points

Afternoon snack: toasted whole-grain mini bagel: 2 points

Dinner: grilled chicken filet: 4 points
roasted new potatoes: 5 points

TOTAL: 20 points

It Worked

From the looks of things and a loss of 1.8 pounds this morning, the breakfast shift last week did its job. I'll do it again this week to make sure it wasn't just a fluke.

There Are Cookies in the Kitchen

Normally I bake cookies for my dad's birthday. I wrap them up nicely with some other gift that I hope he'll love, make him a card like I did in kindergarten, and send a little care package his way. This year, I just didn't make the time to bake, but I still wanted him to get his birthday cookies. So I turned to the fine folks at Kevin's Cookies for help. When I told Cole my plan, he encouraged me to get some for the house. Who am I to say no to Kevin or Cole?!?!

I had one after lunch. Peanut butter to be exact. Beautifully round, crisp on the outside, perfectly soft on the inside. I would even bet it was baked fresh this morning.

There are more than a dozen still in the kitchen -- chocolate chip, double chocolate, white chocolate with macadamia nuts -- in the simple white box on the counter next to the fridge. I want to eat 10 more, but I don't. And won't.

I know I'm having a great week so far. My breakfast shift is proving positive, even after just two days.

I hope Daddy likes them.

Breakfast: oatmeal: 3 points

Lunch: chicken/tomato pasta salad: 5 points
peanut butter cookie: 3 points

Afternoon snack: apple parfait: 2 points

Dinner: whole wheat spaghetti: 4 points
marinara: 1 points
garlic bread: 3 points
Brussels sprouts: 0 points

TOTAL: 21 points.

Mixin' Things up

If you know me, you know I can be a little set in my ways. I eat breakfast at 9 a.m. I lock the door three times when I leave. I don't leave the house without earrings on. I take gum out of the package in a certain direction, right to left, top to bottom.

But today, I've decided to switch things up a bit. Not just for today, but I'm gonna try it for the rest of the week to see how it goes. Breakfast. I waited an hour this morning. I'm lucky to work from home and be able to just bring my bowl of cereal to my desk and keep on working. But I'm hoping doing so will help me take the mid-morning snack out of the equation, saving me two points for the day.

I'm also going to try to whip up a salad for lunch each day instead of doing something quick and/or frozen.

Two small changes, but I hope they'll make a difference come Saturday morning.

Oh, and we started week five of the Couch-to-5k program this evening. Killer. But it feels so good to be doing some regular exercise. The runs are getting tougher, but the running is getting easier.

Today's points...

Breakfast: 1 cup MultiGrain Cheerios: 1 point
1/2 vanilla soy milk: 1 point
banana: 2 points

Lunch: spinach/feta/grape/chicken salad: 5 points
(pictured above)

Afternoon snack: popcorn: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Dinner: veggie burger: 6 points

TOTAL: 18 points. Maybe this later breakfast is the way to go.

The Ugly Facts

I was higher on the scale this Saturday than I was after the holidays. I'm gonna go with the excuse that last week was a very girly week, if you know what I mean, because there is really no other logical explanation for a 4.2 pound gain over the last two weeks. Seriously.

But seeing that number printed out in my little book gave me a bit of extra determination. I snacked yesterday during the Super Bowl, and I enjoyed every bit and bite, so this week I will get it back under control.

Pre-breakfast: skinny vanilla latte: 3 points

Breakfast: muffin bar: 2 points
banana: 2 points

Lunch: Smart Ones mango/chicken: 5 points
small apple: 1 point

Afternoon snack: peanut butter and crackers: 4 points

Dinner: fajita salad: 5 points

TOTAL: 22 points

Where, Oh Where, Has It Gone

I've lost it. My motivation that is. I've been so lax this week, so apathetic, so lazy. But mad at myself at the same time. I can do this. I want to lose these last 11 pounds. So why aren't I trying harder??? Why don't I run an extra day each week??? Why don't I say no to Girl Scouts when they knock on our door???

I went back this morning to read the reasons that I've been trying to lose this weight. It was a good boost. A good reminder. I'll go to my meeting tomorrow and see what the scale has to say and just go from there. I know, I've said that a dozen times. You're probably thinking, "here she goes again, starting over, refocusing for the umpteenth time." But part of me thinks it's okay to start over, again. I'm not in a hurry to lose the weight for a wedding or vacation or to get to some finish line. I'm trying to get healthy (okay, and hot), and there is no timeline for that. It's okay to keep truckin' along, to fall and get back up and dust myself off to keep going.

This may be the slowest weight loss history has ever seen. But it's happening, and it will keep happening. It may take me another year to do it, but I will see 140 on the scale.