Lose for Good

I did not want to step on the scale this morning. (It's a girl thing. I'll leave it at that.) But I did anyway because for the next six weeks Weight Watchers is turning each pound lost into a pound of food for the hungry around the world. Their Lose for Good program will donate up to $1,000,000 to world hunger organizations.

Pam, our meeting leader, this morning said that this campaign was started to help try to right an imbalance. She said 1.6 billion people around the world are overweight, but something like 8.2 million people are starving. (I hope I got those numbers right.)

So, even feeling bloated and icky this morning, I got on the scale to get a starting weight for the program. That just means that my loss next Saturday will be that much greater! Even if I only lose five pounds over the six weeks of this program, Share Our Strength would be able to feed a family of four for almost two full days, on my five pounds alone.

Weekend Worries

I need to get a grip on the weekends. I'm only two weeks in to Weight Watchers again, and I'm doing great Monday through Friday. But the weekends I'm letting myself off the hook when it comes to counting points. I really hate to get into the cycle of losing two pounds in a week just to put them back on over the weekend.

I'm trying to make good decisions, but I know the scale would really show it if I made more of an effort on the weekends. Maybe that should be my goal for the week: Actually count points Saturday and Sunday. Yes. I'll do that.

Breakfast: breakfast burrito: 5 points
(scrambled egg, 6" tortilla, 1-point WW cheese)

Lunch: SouthBeach sandwich: 7 points
chips: 1 point
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: peanut butter toast: 5 points

Dinner: cereal: 3 points
soymilk: 1 point

TOTAL: 23. Two more than I should be having starting this week, but we did run this evening... And how pitiful is it that I didn't get a single fresh fruit or veggie in today?!

22 Points

This Weight Watchers thing is more fun if you think of the points as a numbers game. I have 22 points a day to chew on and 35 weekly points to use (or not) scattered throughout the week. I'm looking forward to trying again. I'm ready to eat healthier again and take better care of myself. I can do it.

Breakfast: cheese toast: 2 points
scrambled egg: 2 points

Lunch: Lean Cuisine sandwich: 7 points
applesauce: 1 point

Afternoon snack: snack cakes: 1 point

Dinner: pork chop: 6 points
apple: 1 point
sweet potato fries: 2 points

TOTAL: 22 points!

Again

Well, I just went online and purchased my Monthly Pass to get started with Weight Watchers again. I will eat my weight in chocolate and pizza for the next couple of days, and then get myself back into decent shape at a decent weight starting with Saturday's 9:30 a.m. meeting.

How soon we forget. I hope we relearn and remember just as quickly.

Seven Days Till Bootcamp

You've heard it here before, but I am the worst Weight Watchers member ever. It's a wonder they don't just kick me out.

I had another gain when I weighed Saturday, another pound. So I'm very glad that bootcamp starts a week from today. I hope she will just kick my butt!!! In a friendly and healthy way of course...

So this week in preparation of bootcamp, we're going to run three evenings and eat healthier to start gearing up. We had a great "last meal" last night, so I think we have that out of our systems.

Breakfast: Fiber One bar: 2 points
banana: 2 points

Lunch: South Beach wraps: 5 points
cheddar rice cakes: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: Fig Newton 100-calorie pack: 2 points
saltines: 1 point

Dinner: Lean Cuisine chicken quesadilla: 4 points
chips and salsa: 3 points

TOTAL: 22 points

Water: IIIII (before noon)
IIII (3-6 p.m.)
II (6-8 p.m.)

100 Pounds and SXSW

If your weekly Weight Watchers meeting is anything like mine, your leader ends the meeting by celebrating. We celebrate every five pounds, bigger milestones like 25 and 50 pounds, goal, etc. Well, yesterday we had a celebration I had never seen before. A nice lady in my regular Saturday morning meeting hit the 100-pound mark. She's lost 100 pounds and she's not finished yet. One hundred pounds. And she did it in 11 months. Just seeing her stand up and tell a bit of her story was a huge boost to me. And it's proof that we all take this journey at our own pace. We all do it for different reasons, and we all have to jump different hurdles along the way.

I'm still battling against -- and beating myself up for -- the six Christmas pounds I'm still carrying around. What is the deal with that?!?! But this lady gave me hope. If she can knock off 100 pounds and keep going, I can certainly keep working to get myself healthier. And these last pounds are sure to disappear along the way.

Oh, and...

The Interactive portion of SXSW starts Friday. Rex and Laura and Patrick come to town for the festivities, and it always means lots of fun, nerdiness, learning and good Austin food. If you happen to be at the Convention Center for SXSW and see me walking around with Cole's Darth Vader computer bag (he's loaning it to me for the occasion), tap me on the shoulder and say hi...

Sunday points:

Breakfast: cereal: 2 points
banana: 2 points
1/2 cup soy milk: 1 point

Lunch: French bread pizza: 6 points
apple: 1 point
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: rice cake: 1 point
Laughing Cow wedge: 1 point

Dinner: soup: 2 points
chips and salsa: 3 points

TOTAL: 20 points. Here's hoping for a great week!!!

Friday Food Journal

I have not been a very good Weight Watchers member this week. Sure, I have all the information in my head, I've been tracking points and watching the number on my pedometer. I've been drinking plenty of water. But I haven't been telling myself "no". What is it about this holiday business that makes us think we just coast for a month or so???

Tomorrow morning I will step on the scale. I will brave the number if nothing else but to give myself a jumping off point from right that very point, right that very moment.

Breakfast: cereal and soymilk: 3 points

Mid-morning snack: yogurt smoothie: 1 point

Lunch: sushi: 6 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: dried bananas: 3 points

Dinner: spaghetti: 7 points
garlic bread: 4 points

TOTAL points: 25
TOTAL steps: 8,337

Monday

Stepped on the scale Saturday morning to a two-pound gain. Two pounds. I don't think I've gained that much, so I'm going with the weight of the wrap sitting in my tummy from the night before and being a girl.

In our meeting Saturday, Pam talked about the three choices that we have for getting through the holidays: Maintaining the point where we are now and simply getting through the next six weeks, continuing to lose through the next six weeks, or forgetting how to count points and starting over with the new year. No thanks to that last option. I plan to continue to count points, but I know temptation will win at times. As it did the last two days... That damn Paula Deen.

I wish I could be a bigger person and put down the number of points I've eaten today, but I just can't face it. But, tomorrow is another day...

Who Are We to Judge???

I don't know what made me think of this today. Maybe it's because I'm getting ready to weigh in tomorrow, so today I'm really trying to watch what I eat, drinking plenty of water, and thinking about the scale, what Pam will have to say and sitting through the meeting.

I normally enjoy the meetings. (Little Miss DVD hasn't been there in weeks.) I take something away from each one. Maybe I decide to try a veggie I've never had. Maybe I realize I'm not getting enough calcium. Perhaps one of these days I'll hear about some sort of activity that I just have to dive into. More than anything, I realize that I'm not going through this struggle alone.

But last weekend, I left the meeting with "pffft" in my mind. You know, the puff-of-air sound your lips make when your brain is saying "whatever." I would guess there was even an eyeroll that came along with it. Though I can't be sure. The "pffft" came from the row behind me.

As you may or may not know, there is a little time for celebration at the end of each Weight Watchers meeting. Every five pounds lost, we celebrate. Major numbers like 25, 50, 75, we celebrate. When someone reaches 10 percent of their joining weight, we celebrate. And when someone reaches their personal goal, you guessed it, we celebrate and acknowledge their success. Well, last week, a woman I had never talked to or even seen before reached her goal. She looked great. I was jealous for half a second that I hadn't reached my goal. Yet.

And then she said the number out loud. She didn't lose 100 pounds or even 50 to reach her goal. She lost 15 pounds. I think that's quite an accomplishment. But that's when the "pffft" came from the row behind me. As if the lady behind me didn't think that 15 pounds was worthy of celebration. I wonder if anyone else heard her...

For all we know, this 15-pound loss with Weight Watchers could have been after losing 75 on another program. Perhaps she lost 50 pounds on her own, with healthy eating and exercise, and she just needed some structure for those last 15. Perhaps she let 15 pounds sneak up on her and wanted to lose it before it got to 25 pounds or beyond.

My point??? We don't know the history of her weight-loss struggles or fears or victories. We don't know that about each other when we sit down in that room. But still, some of us feel the right to judge. Whether we have 20 or 200 pounds to lose, each of us is sitting in that room for the same reason: to lose weight and get healthy. Her goal number doesn't matter to me. Yours doesn't matter to me. Mine shouldn't matter to you. What should matter is providing support to each other along the way, learning from each other, getting healthy and celebrating victories together. Who are we to judge...

My day in points (Admittedly, not my best week ever. We'll see how it goes in the morning.)

Breakfast: oatmeal: 3 points

Mid-morning snack: banana: 2 points

Lunch: Smart Ones spaghetti: 6 points
10 saltines: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: grapes: 1 point
banana: 2 points

Dinner: sandwich: 7 points

TOTAL: 24 points. Thank goodness the candy is out of the house it that would have been even worse.

No Wonder...

If you've been keeping up with the numbers, you know that I've been bouncing back and forth within the same two pounds for about six weeks. (Today I banked a 0.2-pound loss.) Well, come to find out, I've been miscalculating my points. Not miscalculating really, just not adjusting my daily points target as I should...

I can't give you the full formula here for fear of getting a letter from the Weight Watchers lawyers, but when I first joined, I calculated my points based on what I weighed at the time (and other important factors). Did you know that each time you lose enough weight to fall below a zero, you're supposed to take a point away?!?! (Say, going from the 170s into the 160s.) Shocking. So now instead of aiming for 22 points every day, I'll now be shooting for 20. Twenty points. My brain fears that that might not even be possible. But it is.

I'll have to make the change by doing things like eating carrots at lunch instead of chips and salsa (exactly two points). Maybe having an apple instead of a banana as my mid-morning snack (saving one point). Switching from whole-fat cheese to some made with 2 percent milk instead (saving one point). And just keeping complete control of my portions. I bought the cutest little red square plates today...

Anyway, it can be done. And I'll probably start seeing an immediate difference on the scale. The good news??? I won't have to drop my number of daily points again before reaching goal. And I know after this unintentional six-week experiment that maintenance will be fairly smooth for me...

On another note: I discovered that Time Warner Cable has a fitness-on-demand channel (channel 1431 here in Austin if you have digital cable). I did 11 minutes worth of abs this morning after we went for a long family walk. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning...

A Small Gain

Stepped on the scale this morning at Weight Watchers, and I packed on 0.6 pounds in New York City. I'm actually quite pleased that it wasn't more than that. It makes me think that I'm actually going from dieting to "living as a fit and healthy person."

Weight Watchers Math

I was never very good at math. I always felt good going into a math class where a calculator was on the supply list. You'd think that would help. Oftentimes it didn't.

But I'm happy to report that I can keep my checkbook balanced, and I'm sure Cole is as pleased about that as I am. But now I'm struggling with what I'm calling Weight Watchers math. It's just not fair...

About two weeks ago in our meeting, Pam talked about fiber for a bit. As any WW member will tell you, fiber is a major part of the points calculations formula. But the trick is, more than four grams of fiber won't count in your points. Four is the max you can count. On the WW points calculator, you can track 1, 2, 3 or "4 or more" grams of fiber.

Here's an example from some new soup I tried this week, with a nice eye-catching "Zero Weight Watchers Points" label on the can:

60 calories, 0.5 grams of fat and 4 grams of fiber per serving. (There are two servings in the can.) That's zero points for one serving. Perfect. BUT, if you eat both servings in the can, you have to count 120 calories, 1 gram of fat and just the 4 grams of fiber. Giving you 2 points on the calculator. 2x0=2 in this case.

I hate math.

Breakfast: 1 cup Cheerios: 2 points
1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point

Mid-morning snack: banana: 2 points

Lunch: mini-bagel sandwich: 4 points
Triscuits: 2 points
cherub tomatoes: 0 points

Afternoon snack: banana: 2 points
snack cakes: 1 point

Dinner: 1 cup Cheerios: 2 points
1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point
snack cakes: 1 point

TOTAL: 18 points. How can that be?!?!

My 90/10 Rule

Pam is always talking about our "living as a fit and healthy person" in my Weight Watchers meetings. Many times, she will even stop in the middle of her sentence, looking at us through hopeful eyes that we'll all chime in, in unison... "as a fit and healthy person" to finish her statement. It's hard to all get together sometimes at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.

But I try. I like the thought. Yet after doing some soul-searching, I've discovered that I'm doing that about 90 percent of the time. And, I'm okay with that. Ninety percent of the time (and I'm talking about week when I talk about my time since that's how I watch my points and eating), I'm measuring my soymilk and counting grapes and walking three dogs as the sun comes up. But 10 percent of the time, I'm just not. And it's normally Saturday evening.

I'm not eating a whole chocolate cake, but I'll allow myself a slice during this chunk of 10 percent of my week. I won't go on a drunken rampage, but I'll have a glass of wine.

I think it's good for me. It keeps me from craving everything in site and binging when I get mad that I can't have it. It allows me the flexibility to enjoy the taste of food, not just the fuel it provides my body. It also keeps me from feeling guilty. I don't have to be ashamed of eating that cookie because I gave myself permission.

Is it healthy to think this way??? As Pam also says, there are no no-no foods.

Breakfast: cereal: 3 points
soymilk: 1 point

Mid-morning snack: pretzels: 2 points

Lunch: panini: 6 points
red grapes: 1 point

Afternoon snack: English muffin: 2 points

Dinner: salsa chicken: 5 points (recipe here)
roasted potatoes: 3 points (recipe here)

TOTAL: 23 points. Fine with me.

I Miss My After-School Nap and Snack

I eat five times a day. It's best for me and my blood sugar. And I try to eat at the same time every day: breakfast at 9 a.m., my mid-morning snack around 10:45, dinner at 7:30, etc. But my afternoon snack time is kicking my butt. It's not about being hungry or needing food, it's about some part of my brain wanting to do nothing but eat from 3 p.m. until about 4:30. What is that all about?!?!

I took a step toward an a-ha moment a couple of weeks ago when I was in a Weight Watchers meeting. Pam was asking people about their triggers: emotions, family gatherings, a certain time of day. A few other people in the room were also having that 3-5ish ravenous feeling, not of hunger, but the need to eat. Pam definitively gave us the reason behind it: the after-school snacks we used to get when we were kids.

Can that be true?!?! Can something that happened daily for several years so many years ago still be affecting the way I eat?!?! And if that's the case, when are we gonna throw a nap back into the mix???

My day in numbers...

Breakfast: 1/2 cup soymilk: 1 point
Rice Krispies with strawberries: 2 points

Mid-morning snack: yogurt smoothie: 1 point

Lunch: Lean Cuisine panini: 7 points
carrots and ranch dip: 1 point

Afternoon snack: Hershey's Snacksters: 2 points

Dinner: flank steak: 6 points
grilled pineapple: 1 point**

**If you've never grilled a freshly sliced pineapple, make plans to do it this weekend. It's such a great summertime side to anything you can prepare. Sprinkle with some cinnamon and a drop of honey, and grill until you're happy.

TOTAL: 21 points. I don't remember the last time I came in under budget.

A Story About a Fig

As I start this post, it's 10:50 a.m. and I've just returned home from my Weight Watchers weigh in. I lost 1.6 pounds this week, and dipped below that zero that I've been aiming for. I'm now at 149.4. I can't believe I just said that outloud for the whole world to hear!!! It seems like 188 was a lifetime ago...

I also sat down with Pam, my Weight Watchers Leader, and put my goal of 140 down in writing. So 9.4 pounds to go to goal, and it feels attainable to me this morning. I really believe I can do this.

And even today at 149.4, I'm now considered "normal" on the BMI scale. Now, there are times when it's good to go above and beyond the usual and the average, but then there are times when it's even better to be just normal.

Oh, and I tried a new food last night. I've been wanting to do that: Sample fruits and veggies that I've never tasted before. Last night, it was a fresh fig. I didn't even know what it was when I saw it on a tray full of bright yellow pineapple, red cherries and green kiwi. There was this tear-drop shaped thing with a stem, and I had no idea what it was. A fig??? I was nervous. My experience with figs is limited to a sugary square cookie. But, it was good. It wasn't overly sweet, and it was meaty like an apple, but softer with the little gritty seeds right in the center. If you've never tried a fresh fig, do. Two medium figs are just one little tiny WW point.

Searching for Zero and Peaches Aren't So Bad

I weighed in Saturday morning. After stepping on our scale before leaving the house, I expected to be about 1.6 pounds down. But according to the official WW scale, I was only .6 down. That's fine. It's still a loss. For a total of 10.6 pounds gone. Whoo hoo!!!

I really hope I can lose 1.6 in the week ahead. That will get me to my little mini-goal of hitting a weight that ends in zero. Then it will be time to set a goal. A real goal. A goal to hit and maintain. I have such mental block about doing that for some reason...

Oh, Little Miss Portable DVD Austin was at the meeting again, listening to her cartoons so loud that I could hear them two rows in front of her. Why does that make me so nuts???

My day in numbers...

Side note: I didn't think I liked peaches. When I think of peaches I think of the artificial aroma coming from "peaches and cream" candles and the such. But tonight I ventured out. Cole and I picked up some fresh Fredericksburg peaches yesterday at Whole Foods. I grilled them tonight as part of our dinner and they turned out pretty darn good.

Breakfast: muffin: 4 points

Mid-morning snack: banana: 2 points

Lunch: turkey pita: 4 points
pretzels: 2 points

Afternoon snack: WW chocolate bar: 1 point

Dinner: filet: 5 points
grilled peaches: 1 point
glass o' wine: 3 points

TOTAL: 22 points.

An Update on the Scale

Well, I didn't make it to my regular weigh in Thursday evening, so I opted to go Saturday morning. I felt out of my element a bit: none of my regular fellow losers were there, neither was my regular Leader. But one thing was the same: those blasted scales.

I was nervous about climbing up there. I had several days of being sick followed by several days of eating everything in sight. Mind you, I have learned enough not to eat a whole cake when I see it, but I do allow myself a bite or two of said cake. Anyway, the time had come to step up. Just for good measure I slipped my shoes off, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. And lost two pounds!!! For a total loss of nine pounds now.

My goal this week is simple: To make it to an even 10.

Knowledge Is Power

It's Thursday. That means that come 6:30 p.m., it's time to step on the official Weight Watchers scale and hear the news. I didn't want to hear it this week. My gut told me there would be a tiny gain again (remember, last week I gained .4). I just didn't want to know.

So my plan was to go to the meeting and skip the scale. I would go and listen and participate, but I didn't want to hear that number.

The closer I got to the building, the more convinced I became that I should step on the scale. Okay. Fine. I'll step on the scale. When I got up to the counter to check in, I told Ruthie that I was very hesitant to weigh. I asked her if she would simply print my little weekly sticker and put it in my book. I told her that I didn't think I had had a very good week. My plan was to look at the sticker tomorrow, to take that information and learn from my bad week, and start fresh.

But to my surprise, I was down a full pound, for a total of 5.4 lost since going back to WW three weeks ago. Can I just say, I'm 31 down from my all-time high. That makes me proud, even if I did just lose just one tiny little pound this week.

Breakfast: muffin: 4 points
coffee w/Splenda and creamer: 1 point

Mid-morning snack: yogurt smoothie: 1 point

Lunch: quesadilla: 7 points
chips: 1.5 points

Mid-afternoon snack: yogurt: 2 points
granola bites: 2 bites

Dinner: pizza: 8 points (I'm guessing there)

TOTAL: 26.5 points for the day. Not great, but tomorrow is a new day.

Cheeseburger Salad

I always struggle to find something new and exciting to prepare for dinner. Something that is healthy and balanced and Cole-approved. I'm afraid of doing one meal too regularly or getting into a rut.

Now that I'm back on Weight Watchers, I'm really making an effort to put together a weekly menu at the beginning of each week. I think this will help me stay focused, keep us from eating out too much, and stop me from going too crazy up and down the aisles at the grocery store. When I get the weekly menu together, I send it to Cole for his review.

But, back to making something new for dinner... tonight it was cheeseburger salad.

I just basically created a salad bar in our kitchen: lettuce, onions, salsa, dressings, crumbled bacon, croutons, etc. And on the stovetop I made little silver dollar-size hamburgers out of lean ground sirloin, kosher salt and course ground pepper, and melted cheese on top. Baby burgers on top of a bed of lettuce and whatever else we wanted in our bowls. Not too shabby, as the Huggins crew likes to say...

Breakfast: coffee with Splenda and creamer: 1 point
Kashi hot cereal: 2 points

Mid-morning snack: melba toast and laughing cow cheese: 2 points

Lunch: leftover pizza: 6 points
broccoli in cheese sauce: 1 point

Afternoon snack: trail mix: 3 points

Dinner: cheeseburger salad: 8 points
brownie bites: 3 points

TOTAL: 26 points. Four more out of my weekly wiggle allowance. Still on track...

Eating My Way Through Friday the 13th

Breakfast: muffin: 3 points
banana: 2 points

Mid-morning snack: WW snack cake: 1 point

Lunch: Sonic jr. burger: 9 points

Afternoon snack: trail mix: 3 points.

I love the "Hit the Trail Mix" that HEB sells. It's made with raisins, M&Ms, peanuts, cashews and almonds. It's perfect when I need sweet and salty. And the nuts give me the shot of protein I need when I'm on the edge of passing out.

Dinner: brown rice: 3 points
asparagus roasted in olive oil and dried herbs: 1 point
breadsticks: 1 point

Dessert: Skinny Cow ice cream bar: 2 points.

TOTAL: 25 points. 22 for the day and 3 extra from my weekly allotment.

It's been a rough day.